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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355094">In Shadowed Memories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumatorafire/pseuds/Kumatorafire'>Kumatorafire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Marriage Proposal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:15:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,690</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumatorafire/pseuds/Kumatorafire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They had made it. But the journey to make it home was never meant to be easy.</p>
<p>(Alphinaud/Rhy'a [male moon miqo'te wol/wod])</p>
<p>(Contains 5.3 spoilers.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alphinaud Leveilleur/Warrior of Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In Shadowed Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alphinaud felt helpless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Rhy'a dropped to the ground, light flooding his being as he screamed in pain, Alphinaud couldn't stop himself from taking a step forward. He had to help, had to-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he couldn't.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had to watch Rhy'a lose control over his own body as he felt his sister tremble beside him. She was just as horrified, she had seen it before and knew what it meant. Rhy'a would be rebirthed as a Sin Eater, as a Lightwarden. There was no way he could comfort her, Alphinaud could barely even keep himself upright.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Exarch was going to steal the light from him, and Alphinaud's stomach churned with uneasiness. The plan would absolutely kill the Exarch, but Rhy'a would live. In all honesty, it was the prudent solution, but the Exarch was clearly no bad person. Rhy'a had shouted his name as the wind blew his hood off, and the Exarch.. No, G'raha Tia, was clearly moved by his recognition. His death wouldn't be anything but a tragedy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then Emet-Selch shot him, ruining any last chance for Rhy'as life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The once unflinching Warrior of Darkness was now writhing on the ground, screaming in pain. He spat out a glowing white, the substance clinging to his lips with a molasses like texture. He looked miserable, unable to even get to his feet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Emet-Selch left with a final message; for the Warrior of Light to see him when he cared to die honorably. Alphinaud seethed. As if Emet-Selch felt anything for him beyond the amusement a sadistic child felt, playing with a bug before he squashed it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ryne extended her hand, an anxious look on her face, and the light pouring from him seemed to wane until it vanished. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was only now that they could approach his body, and Alphinaud stilled for a moment in fear as he failed to see any signs of life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was quickly broken however, as Urianger and Alisaie were quick to retrieve him. Alisaie placed her head against his chest, her nervous expression fading into one of relief. "He lives. He's merely unconscious." She must have shared his fear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Alphinaud approached, he realized that Rhy'a didn't look right. His pretty pink locks were tipped with white, his eyelashes the same. The disgusting light that had escaped his mouth stained his lips, and his bare fingertips were pure white. The beginning of a transformation into a Lightwarden.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ryne seemed to stop it for the time being however. As Thancred and Y'shtola carried Rhy'a back to the Crystarium, Ryne followed beside them, afraid her powers might fail at any moment. Alisaie patrolled with her blade drawn, her tired eyes alight with a protective instinct Alphinaud had never seen as she slaughtered any wildlife that came closer than 30 yalms to Rhy'a.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud should have helped. He should have. Everyone else was. And yet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn't realize he was crying until Urianger placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "Master Alphinaud. Thine own healing magics would be of great use. Rhy'a still retains his injuries from his prior trial of combat."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was something, Alphinaud figured. He opened his tome and got to work, walking alongside Ryne as he began speaking incantations.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they returned to the Crystarium, Alphinaud helped lead as Thancred carried Rhy'a into his inn room. As he placed the Miqo'te on the bed, Alphinaud could see how tired Thancred looked. "I can take over from here." Thancred looked as if he was about to protest, but yawned before he could get a word out. Alphinaud didn't waste much time herding the gunbreaker out of the room, closing the door behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"...Oh, Rhy'a." He sighed, his head lowering. "Why didn't you tell us that the light was hurting you? We could have helped, could have…" He trailed off, his gaze stuck on Rhy'as sleeping form. There wasn't anything they could have done. Hells, they couldn't even try to. Be it Primals or Lightwardens, there was nothing he or Alisaie could do to help. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Quietly, Alphinaud crawled into bed alongside Rhy'a, spooning his unconscious boyfriend. Alphinaud closed his eyes, trying to memorize the feeling as he ran his hands over every ilm of his body. He'd never had reason to think Rhy'a would die. Never, never, never… But now, Rhy'a was losing himself more and more every second. It was only a matter of time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud buried his face into Rhy'as back and failed in his attempts to stave off tears.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>"Alphinaud."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Said elezen looked up, a forlorn smile on his face. "Rhy'a. Must you ask me if I continue to carry the will to fight?" The Miqo'te nodded quietly, and Alphinaud laughed hollowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I came to Eorzea to discover why my grandfather gave his life for people he never knew.  I was a bratty child, presumptive in my maturity and naivety. And yet, not once did you disregard me as such." Alphinaud smiled. "You stayed by my side, even as the Crystal Braves took away everything from the Scions. Even as I gave up. Even as we were forced into war after pointless war. Even as the odds were stacked against you time and time again. And somehow, during all that, you managed to be a beacon of hope. Not just for us, but for everyone you meet."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He chewed on his lip, gaze cast downward. "I have borne witness to so many miracles at your side, and would do so again. This.. Is simply another obstacle in the road." He nodded as he spoke, now looking up at Rhy'a with a newfound determination in his eyes. "So come, let us travel to the depths together. Drag me though wonder and danger, as you've done time and time again, and I shall endeavor to never slow you down."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud felt all eyes on him, and felt heat creep into his cheeks. Nonetheless, he took Rhy'as hands into his own and stared down at them. "..I.. Presume that is satisfactory for an answer?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The way a teary eyed Rhy'a pulled him into a tight embrace served as a response, and Alphinaud laid his head against Rhy'as chest. He only barely heard Rhy'a speak, and even then struggled to make out what he said. "More than enough. I.. Need to tell you something."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud looked up, once again realizing the extent of their height difference. He didn't have to do it for long, however, as Rhy'a slowly dropped to a knee. His gaze flickered to the others, standing not far from the two. "..Rhy'a?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can't continue without telling you this, Alphinaud. I don't.. Know. I could be walking towards my death at this moment." Rhy'a took Alphinaud's hands into his own, squeezing them for emphasis. "I love you. You've stayed by me through everything. Every battle I fought, I fought because I wanted you to be safe. I wanted a future where we might have been able to stop fighting, where we could have.." Rhy'a trailed off, a pained look in his eyes. Alphinaud noticed they hardly looked blue anymore, instead they were almost a pure white. For a moment, Alphinaud became hyperaware of how the others were watching. He could feel their questioning gazes, maybe judgemental, but now wasn't the time to care. He hung onto Rhy'as every word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"..But.. I don't think I should dwell on that. I wish in some other lifetime, we could have lived without the constant threat of dying. But we're here. And I want you to take this, and... And know that I wish things were different." With that, Rhy'a reached into his jacket pocket, and withdrew a silver ring, a small moonstone set into the jewelry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rhy'a presented it to Alphinaud, and the elezen gasped instinctively. "..Rhy'a? This.."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rhy'a smiled tiredly. "..Is a promise. Of what could have been, or.. If by some miracle, will be. Either way, I want you to know that.." He lowered his head. "..If I have a future, I want you to be a part of it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud extended his trembling hand, watching awestruck as Rhy'a slid the ring onto his finger, the world around them dead silent. "..I.. ..Oh, Rhy'a.." Alphinaud felt wetness on his face, and blinked as he realized he was crying.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rhy'a got to his feet and pulled Alphinaud into a tight embrace, the small elezen holding him back as if he'd never let go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They would live together for the rest of their lives, regardless of how long that would be.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>"So." Alisaie started, her smug grin somehow audible in her voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud glanced up from his drink warily. "..So?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alisaie scoffed before laughing. "So, when were you planning on telling me that you were courting our own Warrior of Darkness?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud hesitated, bringing the cup to his lips to avoid answering. He winced as he drank, unused to the burn of alcohol in the back of his throat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sure, he may have been an adult in Sharlayan, but apparently he was still too young looking to manage to get a drink under any other circumstance. Of course, the defeat of an Ascian and the assured safety of an entire world was a special occasion, and the bartender seemed to look the other way as he placed two filled beverages in front of the twins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Were you afraid?" Alisaie presses, and Alphinaud just blinked, unsure of what she meant. She sighed with a fond, almost sad smile. "You didn't tell me, Alphinaud. And you tell me everything. Did you worry that I might react poorly?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud hesitated, glancing at the other tables to see if anyone was listening in. "...I know your opinions have changed since we left home. I just.. Was unsure if your thoughts about that sort of romance had changed." He kept a professional tone, but Alisaie knew better. "Father casting me aside because of who I love would hurt, but if you did the same.."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'd never." She replied quickly, grabbing Alphinaud's hands with her own, clasping them together. "As much as our paths may differ, we are still two halves of a greater whole. Nothing would make me disown that." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud's shoulders sagged, his eyes closing as he exhaled in obvious relief. "..Thank you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alisaie smirked, moving to grab her own drink and examining it carefully. "But now you have to deal with my prying, so weigh those pros and cons as you will." She took a sip, wrinkling her nose as she swallowed a mouthful of the ale. "When did you two realize? How did that happen?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I…" Alphinaud paused, averting his gaze. "I only realized how fond I was of him when we had to flee to Ishgard." He took his cup in both hands, staring a hole into it. "I felt so humiliated.. Powerless. I wanted to just dwell on my failures alone, but.. He told me I didn't have to shoulder my emotions alone."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud took a small sip, managing to avoid making a face this time. "He.. Never seemed real, until then. Until he stayed with me in my chambers for the night, he always felt like some larger than life hero. That he was some unattainable man who had no fears and no worries aside from bringing wrongdoers to justice."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alisaie snickered. "In your chambers for the night, hm? I wonder how that would progress into romance." Alphinaud flushed pink all the way to the tips of his ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That isn't- We didn't do anything! He just.." Alphinaud's tone changed from defensive to shy as he slumped into his chair. "..He held me, and let me cry.. and he cried too. Both of us felt helpless, but.. We had each other. Seeing him in that moment of weakness.. How was I supposed to do anything but catch feelings?" He smiled, embarrassed. "When I woke up, he was still holding me.. And at that point, I knew."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alisaie blinked, propping her elbow on the table and resting her cheek against her closed fist. "So you and him have been together for that long, and I just never realized it?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud scoffed dismissively. "Heavens, no. I doubt he saw me as anything but a snivelling brat at that point." He shook his head. "I only managed to realize it then, but I didn't say anything until.. After he fought Zenos in Ala Mhigo. By then, I.." He trailed off, his gaze lingering on an unfocused point in the distance. “..I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. I couldn’t risk staying silent anymore. He can be so reckless with his own life, so I'd hoped that..” Alphinaud paused, only continuing when Alisaie raised an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“..I’d hoped that if I told him how I felt, he wouldn’t be so willing to rush headfirst into every dangerous situation put in his path.” Alphinaud sighed. “Of course, once I confessed, it didn’t end up stopping him. Now, he just insists it’s because he wants to keep me safe.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, good.” Alisaie quipped. “If he wasn’t doing it for you, i’d have to have an even more serious talk with him.” She noticed Alphinaud’s look of surprise, and laughed. “What? Did you think I wouldn’t be concerned about you dating him? About you marrying him? Don’t you realize how dangerous that would be? How you’d have a target on your back for the rest of your life if anyone wanted to hurt him? You of all people should know he’s got enemies who would do anything to bring him down, even emotionally.” Her expression had turned from casual to grave, and Alphinaud leaned back into his seat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"..I know that. But haven't we already had a target painted on our backs simply for associating with him? I don't see why we should pretend to not adore each other. Besides, with even the smallest amount of observation, any potential attackers would know quite quickly how close we are." Alphinaud placed a hand to his chest, his fingers closing around the ring he had been given. It was secured from a chain around his neck, since the chances of it being tarnished in their typical adventures was almost guaranteed if he were to wear it normally.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alisaie watched him place a hand over the engagement ring and sighed. "You're more hopeless than I thought." She watched as Alphinaud turned his gaze to their own Warrior of Darkness, his expression softening into one of gentle adoration. Alisaie smiled, shaking her head. "But as long as you're happy, I guess it's fine."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud didn't respond, placing his mug back onto the table before he stood. Rhy'a was slipping away from the crowd of excited Crystarium citizens, and Alphinaud mumbled some form of parting excuse before he had followed his husband toward the Pendants.</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Alphinaud's eyelids felt unbelievably heavy, and he let out a grunt of discomfort as he slowly realized how sore he felt. His limbs seemed unwilling to move and ached in protest when they finally did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"They're waking up!" Tataru's excited voice struck him like a hammer to the skull. Wincing, Alphinaud forced his eyes open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Rising Stones. Eorzea. Home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud felt a weight sink onto the side of his bed, and glanced over to see Rhy'a. He looked tired, but the teary eyed smile on his face betrayed no annoyance at the fact he had just had the responsibility of carrying them between worlds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rhy'a exhaled gently, wiping his eyes before his tears could fall. "Good morning, love." He reached toward the bedside table, taking Alphinaud's hand into his own, wordlessly returning the silver ring to the hand of its owner. "I still have one more to return. I'll be back soon." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pressing a kiss against Alphinaud's forehead, Rhy'a got to his feet and hurried out, Tataru and Krile both looking after him in confusion. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alphinaud sat up, looking down at his hands. They were thinner, frailer than usual, and he had a fraction of his strength. And yet, he had never felt happier. They had made it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Alphinaud had no doubt in his mind they would make it through whatever lay ahead, together.</p>
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